I’m writing this letter to you, although I appreciate all that you do, it’s coming up to Christmas, the season of cheer, but couldn’t you just leave it out for this year?
The kids write you letters, I throw them away.
My Christmas club money was all spent in May.
I go to the town some presents to buy then the buses are full and I’m left high and dry.
My friends seem to buy me deodorants and so I’m wondering if there’s something that I don’t know.
I’m lumbered with relatives all Christmas Day, they eat all in sight then they threaten to stay.
So Santa, dear Santa, it’s all for the best, for you and your reindeers deserve a good rest.
So Santa I’m pleading, begging of you, leave Christmas out this year, dear Santa do.
PS If you do decide to come I need a new handbag and tickets to a health spa.