21 things not to say to a vegan on World Vegan Day

Today is World Vegan Day - so we hope you've offered an appropriate greeting to your meat-free friends and colleagues.

Tuesday, 1st November 2016, 9:11 am
Updated Wednesday, 16th November 2016, 4:23 pm
Picture c/o Pixabay.

It's also the beginning of World Vegan Month, and to mark the occasion we've compiled a list of just some of the things non-vegans say which make vegans quiver with rage.

Here's 21 to avoid:

1) I don't eat much meat

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This is the sound of one hand clapping

2) Do you eat fish?

3) If God hadn't intended us to eat meat, he wouldn't have made animals so tasty

He made my knuckles pretty hard - does that mean he intended to me punch you?

4) Is your whole family vegan?

5) Can you not just pick the meat off?

6) But cows like being milked

...pain, murdered calves, illness, an early death - what's not to like?

7) I couldn't go vegan, I'd miss cheese too much

You're basically a common addict

8) Where do you get your protein from?

9) What do you eat?

Picture every food in the world, remove the animal products, and you're there

10) You don't look like a vegan

I forgot my green badge

11) My friend tried being vegan, but it made her really ill

12) You must feel really week all the time

Yup, me and David Haye. Weaklings

13) I only eat organic/humane meat and free range eggs

Humane killings are the best ones, aha

14) Do you never just want a bacon sandwich?

It's all use vegans think about, 24/7

15) Hi, I'm Gordon Ramsey

16) Vegans are always so preachy and never shut up about it

It's always us that brings it up *nods*

17) I don't understand why you don't eat meat, but will have veggie burgers and sausages

Indeed, we're hypocrites. Every time we eat a veggie burger, a little lamb dies

18) What if plants have feelings too?

You're a smart one, never heard that before

19) There are too many animals - if we didn't eat them all, the world would be overpopulated. They damage the environment, you know

20) What do you have for Sunday dinner?

Sawdust, obvs

21) If you were on a desert island...