The Newcastle player with the spine of a garden slug
It seems to be a regular occurrence that us Newcastle United fans are asked to turn up in our masses and create a sea of black and white for the 11 players on the pitch representing our once respected club - but ask yourselves this; why bother?
Saturday was yet another day to forget – and these forgetful days seem to be filling my weekends up at the minute.
Just four minutes in and Steven Taylor has somehow twisted his internal organs inside out as Shane Long manages to stroll passed him, buy a paper, smoke a cigar, watch Schindler’s List followed by The Lord of the Rings trilogy, file his taxes and then slot home the opener passed stand in goalkeeper Karl Darlow.
Once again it was far too easy for the opposition in the opening minutes of the game.
Our makeshift defence crumbled and our senior centre back’s cheeks matched the stripes on the Southampton player’s shirts – and it certainly isn’t the first or last time we will see this calamitous error.
Taylor wasn’t the only one in the spotlight for the wrong reasons, however.
Dutch international Georginio Wijnaldum was once again wearing his Harry Potter ‘Invisibility Cloak’, Daryl Janmaat limped off ‘injured’ with all the spine of a common garden slug – and let’s not even get started on Moussa Sissoko.
I have a 400 word limit on this column and I’m pretty sure if I start writing about the flaws of the Champions League dreamer, I’ll treble my word count.
I’m at the point now of thinking why do I bother? Why do I spend almost £700 a year on a season ticket to see my team lay down and be humiliated by the opposition without a glimpse of fight?
The fans of Newcastle United are proud of our city, we can’t wait for Saturday to come around.
After a long week at work this is our escape, we pile into our second home and cheer on those wearing the famous stripes.
We don’t expect to see a win, but what we do expect is a team that puts their all into a game – blood, sweat and tears.
But it’s seems like the only tears we’ll be seeing this season are those of our own as our Premier League status fades into the distance.
Can we stay up? Of course we can, but only if these players wake up.