Magicians use a party trick called misdirection to distract us, sending our eyes one way so we miss them sticking a card up a sleeve.
There’s nothing magic at all about utterly incompetent Theresa May, the most useless Tory Prime Minister since the last one, David Cameron, who bet the country mansion on a referendum and lost.
But Mrs Mayhem is lucky a prankster, coughing and letters falling off the sign behind her acted as a distraction because she would’ve been in real trouble if the public’s attention had have been centred on what she actually said between the croaks and the sniffles.
Yes, the Carry On Up the Conference farce in Manchester symbolised a leader and party that people are laughing at, not with, laughing at, when that mob couldn’t be trusted to run a bath let alone the country.
May was meant to revive her hanging-by-a-thread leadership to show the nation that the bungling Tories are actually a party with a plan to stop clown Boris Johnson taking over and making it even worse with his jolly hockey stick stupidity.
So what did she say? Next to nothing. The piddling 5,000 social houses a year to rent spread across the entire country isn’t even a sticking plaster when over 2,200 people alone are on the waiting list for a council property in South Tyneside!
The number of government-funded houses constructed in England is down 97% under the Conservatives, down to just 1,102 in the financial year 2016-17 from the 36,700 bequeathed by Labour in 2010-11.
Or your yardstick might be university if you’ve a child at school or are young yourself and fancy studying a degree.
Labour’s pledged to abolish tuition fees so bright working class kids or students from middle class homes won’t be put off or lumbered with debt.
May’s cunning plan to stop students being put off or lumbered with debt graduating with debts averaging more than £50,000 at an interest rate of an eye-watering 6.1% is to create more students graduating with debts averaging more than £50,000 at an interest rate of an eye-watering 6.1%.
Tinkering Theresa’s chronically unable to change or fight for other people’s jobs when her entire effort is focused on retaining her own job from Johnson and the rest of the plotters in a Tory civil war destroying our chances of a decent Brexit deal.
It’s our firefighters, our teachers and other public sector workers who are £3,000 pounds a year worse off than they were when the Tories stumbled into power back in 2010.
Lifting a 1% pay cap on nurses, teachers, council workers and every employee who has endured falling living standards will be a con if they’re still kept on starvation rations, as inflation rises faster than what is offered.
And pushing blindly ahead with a disaster zone Universal Credit is damning proof the Tories don’t have a heart or a head when low paid workers in and out of insecure jobs will be hammered into poverty.
The real problem isn’t who is Tory PM, May or Johnson. It’s we’re lumbered with a Conservative Government.
Britain needs a Labour Government with a PM Jeremy Corbyn. And the sooner the better.