These are the top 50 ways to slack off work

British workers have revealed the top 50 ways they secretly slack off - including 'tactical' toilet breaks, booking meeting rooms for a gossip, and taking compassionate leave for fictional funerals.

Tuesday, 2nd January 2018, 9:51 am
Updated Tuesday, 2nd January 2018, 9:55 am
How many of these are you guilty of?

As millions reluctantly return to their desks after the festive break, researchers have uncovered the many ways people cheat the system and get extra time off.

Booking out the boardroom for a power nap, doodling under the pretence of serious note-taking and creating fictional meetings off-site are other ways Brits will avoid their hefty workloads.

The study of 2,000 people also showed the average worker slacks off for up to 50 minutes a day - or more than four hours a week - usually to carry out personal tasks.

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Geoffrey Dennis, Chief Executive of international animal charity SPANA, which provides free veterinary treatment to working animals in developing countries, said: "Returning to work after the holiday season can come as a shock to the system - and no doubt some workers will be easing themselves back in slowly this week.

"Many people in this country undoubtedly work very hard, but it's clear from these findings that office workers are finding creative ways of putting their feet up for a break.''

These are the top 50 ways of slacking off at work:

1. Browsing the internet

2. Surfing the internet with the screen turned away from colleagues

3. Checking personal emails

4. Sending messages via Messenger, WhatsApp etc

5. Browsing social media

6. Disappearing for a little walk

7. Online shopping

8. Completing life admin at desk (banking, booking tickets, online food shops etc)

9. Eating lunch at your desk

10. Staring at the screen looking concentrated - while daydreaming

11. Tactical toilet breaks

12. Reading the same document over and over

13. Doodling, appearing to take serious notes

14. A drink ready to tactically refill when a break is needed

15. Starting kitchen conversations

16. Writing personal emails in Microsoft Word

17. Quickly switching between tabs and windows

18. Taking as much time off at lunch as possible

19. Wearing headphones

20. Creating fictional meetings off-site

21. Go for a number two

22. Arranging to "work from home"

23. Reading a newspaper

24. Playing online games - disguised as work

25. Starting water cooler conversations

26. Making fake phone calls

27. Booking the meeting room for a gossip

28. Regular fag breaks

29. Arranging your desk so no one can see your screen

30. Offering to make numerous tea rounds

31. Adjusting the brightness of the screen so no-one can what's on there

32. Constantly writing things on Post-it notes

33. Taking compassionate leave for the death of a non-existent granny/grandad

34. Walking around the office with a sense of urgency

35. Keep checking, and staring, at your watch

36. Watching TV on your PC/phone/laptop

37. Cluttering your desk to look "snowed under"

38. Sending late night emails

39. Attending fake medical appointments

40. Printing out copious amounts of "documents"

41. Booking out the boardroom for a power nap

42. Inventing medical issues - stomach cramps, migraines, headaches

43. Inventing emergencies to attend to

44. Having a mirror on the PC to check when the boss is coming

45. Pretending there is a fault with your PC/laptop/phone

46. Organising "urgent" mobile phone calls with friends

47. Having sex in the office (i.e. toilet, stationery cupboard)

48. Running a separate business, side-line or other non-work project

49. Pretending to photocopy

50. Disabling sleep mode on your computer screen