Domestic abusers can get help to mend their ways

editorial image

Men determined to change their ways after subjecting partners to emotional and physical abuse can seek help to combat their controlling behaviour.

The South Tyneside Domestic Abuse Perpatrators Programme (STDAPP) is run by Barnardos in partnership with Impact Family Services.

The programme aims to give men, aged 18 and over, the support and tools they need to recognise and change their abusive behaviour towards their partners.

For some, it could take more than one attempt to complete the course but for those determined to change their ways, it could prove to the lifeline they need to prevent them from ending up; in prison, stopped from seeing their children or one day killing their partner.

One man attempted the programme twice before completeing it and finally realising the physical and mental torture he had heaped on his partner - the mother of his children.

The 37-year-old even blamed her when their children were taken away due to his violent behaviour.

“I used to get drunk and belittle my wife any chance I got, called her names, took money from her purse for drink and never lifted a finger in the house.

“When I think now what I put her through, what I put our kids through, it kills me inside.
“When the kids were taken away, I still couldn’t see the problem was with me.

“Being on the programme, I could start to see what I had been doing more and more. Eventually things started to calm down and change the for the better.

“I have my children back, I have my wife back, I have my life back, thanks to the programme. It really could have been so easy for me to have lost everything. I could be sitting in a prison cell now.”

Men are accepted onto the programme following an assessment to see if they are suitable.

The assessment looks at whether they are ready to change their behaviour.

They will then undergo a series of group programmes and one-to-one assessments.

Anyone interested in finding out more about the programme call South Tyneside: STDAPP on 455 3027 or Sunderland: BIG on 5678282.

Fundraising campaign.

Impact Family Services is currently running its Creating A Home campaign.

Launched last week, they are aiming to raise £8,000 - cost of running the project for a year - within 16 days to ensure the project continues.

As well as cash the project also relies on donations of good quality second hand furniture.

The scheme helps to give those who escape their abusive partners the chance to start a new life and create a safe home for them and their children.

With funds raised from the 16-day campaign, the charity will be able to buy essential household furniture including white goods, pay for emergency accommodation and provide funds for essential removal costs.

To donate visit www.mydonate.bt.com/charities/impactfamilyservices or visit www.impactfs.co.uk and use the donate button.

Anyone suffering at domestic abuse at the hands of their partners or family members can seek help:

Options (Impact Family Services): For women who are suffering domestic abuse - 0191 456 7577. Out of hours 07921 395508 or 07545 08671.

Mens Advice Line: For men who are suffering domestic abuse - 0808 801 0327.

Northumbria Police Choice Helpline: For those suffering honour based violence - 0800 5999 365

Broken Rainbow - Support for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people who are victims of domestic abuse - 0300 999 5428

Young Person Violence Advisor - for those aged 13-17 who are in an abusive relationship - 0191 427 2850.

Apna Ghar - for women from the ethnic minority suffering from domestic abuse - 0191 456 4147.