Family: Are Youtube life skills tutorials taking parents' place?
Research suggests mums are no longer passing on many basic domestic skills to their kids.
But as you can find out how to do almost anything on the internet, does it really matter?
In the past, when children of any age needed to know how to perform basic domestic tasks from sewing on buttons to getting stains out of clothes, they’d ask their mum.
But these days, it seems that wealth of everyday know-how is either being lost because it’s not relevant to modern life, or found on the internet, instead of being passed down.
New research suggests letter writing, sewing, washing-up and ironing are among the things mothers aren’t teaching their offspring any more.
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Laundry, making ‘proper’ gravy, cakes and biscuits are also on the list of skills casualties, compiled from a survey of 2,000 mums of children aged two and above.
The Addis Housewares study found over half of mums just don’t have the time to teach their kids domestic know-how, so instead of asking mum how to do something, one in 10 kids are turning to the internet for help.
But as the top skills not being passed on include darning and patching clothes, crocheting and polishing brass and silverware, it could be argued that most of the skills that face extinction are outdated and no longer needed in today’s ‘throwaway’ society.
“Being a parent is all about preparing your child for the life ahead of them, and of course being practically able to look after yourself in terms of being able to cook a meal and do the washing up are important,” says Anne-Marie O’Leary, editor in chief of the parenting site Netmums.
“But the majority of this list are life skills that simply aren’t needed. Luckily parents nowadays are aware that softer skills that ensure emotional wellbeing are as much, if not more, important than making chutney.”
Indeed, nearly two thirds (64%) of the mums questioned thought much of their know-how is no longer relevant to modern kids, although eight in 10 said their offspring enjoy learning things from them.
The research found modern mums estimate they learned 22 skills from their own mums, and use seven of them every day, with six in 10 saying they wished they’d learned more skills from their mums.
And the mums thought the most important skill to pass down to children was cooking, followed by looking after money and moral values.
O’Leary suggests the most important skills to pass on to children these days are how to be a good role model, how to be a good listener, how to express yourself, how to give back, how to multi-task, how to self-soothe, and how to motivate yourself.
“The list of life skills required for a meaningful and fulfilled life in 2017 is very different,” she says, “so I’m delighted parents aren’t wasting time on teaching kids how to landscape a garden and polish silver.
“Hopefully this means they’re spending time with them on far more important things instead.”
Justine Roberts, chief executive of the parenting site Mumsnet, agrees.
“Mothers tend to be fairly busy these days, what with earning a living and, as surveys show, doing almost all domestic and childcare work,” she says.
“If only there were another kind of parent available to teach children how to darn socks, starch shirts and crochet.
“Until we find them we’ll just have to turn gratefully to YouTube tutorials.”
Among the skills not being passed down the generations are making dough and pastry, handwriting, making Yorkshire puddings, pancakes, biscuits, cakes and ‘proper’ gravy, how to spring clean, which season to plant seeds, how to get stains out of clothes and carpets, and ironing clothes.
Top 20 skills mums aren’t passing on to their kids
1. Darning socks
2. Patching trousers or jeans
3. How to darn a woollen jumper
4. Re-heeling shoes
5. How to polish brass and silverware
6. How to recycle soaps
7. Letter writing
8. Making jam/marmalade
9. Handwashing clothes
11. Making chutney
13. How to hem a dress
14. Sewing buttons
15. Making a trifle
16. Making homemade ice lollies
17. Descaling a kettle
19. Making a white sauce
20. Storing winter/summer clothes away properly