'A hell we feel we will never leave' - mum of tragic Carter Cookson describes her heartbreak after son's tragic death
The mum of baby Carter Cookson has described her grief after he lost his fight for life.
Sarah Cookson took to social media to thank family, friends and well-wishers from around the world for their support after her son passed away at just 24-days-old.
Carter suffered three cardiac arrests within hours of being born on Boxing Day and his parents had launched an appeal to find a new heart after doctors told them he wouldn't survive without a life-saving transplant.
Sarah and husband Chris shared the news that their little boy had 'gained his angel wings' on Saturday.She described her emotions in a post on her Facebook page.
"I have been trying to piece everything together in my head..." she wrote.
"Yesterday we came home without our baby boy.... after being admitted to the RVI on Xmas Eve... I kept telling myself, it's fine... he is going to be fine, I will do as I am told... rest up in hospital...it was almost time... we were going to be a family again with our Angel watching over us.
"Then we spent 25 days... in hell.. a hell we feel we will never leave. Today when we woke after battling with our hearts and minds to get a couple hours sleep.. I wanted it to be a nightmare. So many tears... I am still to face and open the door of his nursery... The pain is unbearable."
Sarah and Chris lost their first son Charlie in October 2013 at the age of two and set up the Charlie Cookson Foundation (CCF), which provides financial support to parents of seriously ill children, in his memory.
"To stand at his brother's grave side in sheer disbelief that this is reality.. very shortly his little brother will be joining him..." wrote Sarah.
"We only wanted to be normal, we would of loved to just have night feeds... bath time... walks pushing him in his pram. BUT once again.... we are suffering."
She said her husband had told her:: "You know... how we get through each day... the pain when Carter was battling, the pain now when he is gone.. is because this is all we know..we only know stress, heartache, worry and how to battle. We don't know how to be normal as for whatever WRONG reason... we have never been given the chance"
"My whole body feels like it is hollow and then been filled with pain," she said.
"Then I read the messages...posts and comments and see the impact our Angel has had, in just over 3 weeks.
"In my heart I believe he has changed peoples minds and saved lives...another inspirational son we made...and who's pain and battle won't be in vain. He will continue to make difference just like his big brother.
"When I look at our CCF logo... our little character is our Charlie with his cool hair, kicking his legs like he used to and look whose heart he has... his little brothers..he was just giving us some time with him before he flew high with him and got his heart ❤
"Thank you all so so much for all your love and support, I will reply to you all when my head is able to focus on one thing and finish it.... my head and heart is in pieces...just like his Daddy's.
"Lots of love to each and everyone of you."