Nine things you should know before dating a Geordie

It's official - you're a dating a proper canny lad or lass from Newcastle.

By The Newsroom
Thursday, 11th February 2016, 11:27 am
Updated Thursday, 11th February 2016, 11:35 am
What a fantastic view! Newcastle pictured during the Great North Run. Photo: Press Association.
What a fantastic view! Newcastle pictured during the Great North Run. Photo: Press Association.

And while they may be the nicest person you've ever met, we need to warn you that you've got a lot to learn.

So before you put your foot in it, here are our tips for things you should know before dating a Geordie.

1. Pease pudding is the "Food of the Gods".

Yes, we know it looks weird and it might put you off. But stop being a whinge and slap it on your ham sandwich. Your lunches will never be the same again.

2. Don't dare to make plans on a match day.

The city lives on football, repeat, the city lives on football. So if you're not a sports fan you best shape up, buy a black and white scarf and realise that a good portion of your free time has been mapped out for you by the fixtures.

3. "Shy bairns get nowt".

We're a loud and proud race, the Geordies. But what's the point in sitting there quietly? If you want something, ask for it. It's the only way to survive in the North East!

4. Coats are only needed if the temperatures drop below freezing. And only a thin one.

We've spent ages preparing this outfit for our night on the Toon - why would we cover it up with a daft old coat?

5. Geordie Shore is not real life.

If you're expecting a whole city of twenty-somethings up for having a mad one every night of the week you're going to be disappointed. Yes, there are people like that but there are also some who just like a few rounds with their mates in one of Newcy's many pubs. Don't stereotype us, please. We're a real mixed bag - and that's what makes us great!

6. We like a natter, so prepare for a chat.

Always been a quiet one? Well this just won't do! We will tell you our life story, we will tell the man at the bus stop our life story and we will tell it to the woman in the papershop. You'll just have to wait while we do so, and start concocting tales of your own!

7. Yes we have our own language and yes you need to learn it.

Hacky = dirty. Clamming = hungry. Howay = come on, or similar. We're not going to write you a dictionary. If you like us enough, you'll learn.

8. You can never have enough pastry, as long as what you're scranning is from Greggs.

Sausage rolls! Fudge doughnuts! CHEESE PASTIES. Breakfast, lunch and dinner, Greggs is the one. You can be boring and get a sandwich if you want, but you'll only be jealous when we're loving life with our pastry-covered delicacy.

9. Don't dare say that all North East accents sound the same.

Newcastle, Sunderland, Hartlepool, Durham, Middlesbrough. Repeat these names. Learn that our accents are not the same. If you say they are, it's probably the quickest way to become single again.

Got it? Champion!