EMMA LEWELL-BUCK: Tell someone if you’re being bullied and also seek help
It can have a profound impact on how you behave and at times you can react in extreme ways to incidents that don’t seem like they warrant that kind of reaction.
However, when they are part of a sustained and constant campaign, these smaller incidents need to be understood within that wider context.
I have seen it happen to so many people I love and care deeply about.
I have also witnessed others who either chose to ignore or deny the full extent of the situation or believe the mistruths spread by the bullies.
When you decide you have to take a stand against figures like these, you suffer the consequences.
So, I understand why some people are unable to do it.
But sometimes and especially if you are in public office, you need to. If you can’t or won’t then public service is not where you belong.
How can you fight for those you represent if you are unable to make a stand when you are aware of wrongdoing?
A lot of organisations are unable to tackle this sort of behaviour due to the difficulty of providing proof.
Even more so if it isn’t one incident and it is subtle and coordinated.
When the victim(s) are told to provide evidence and are unable to, often they are gaslighted and dismissed as a result. But the reality is, it isn’t about how others perceive it, it is about how the victim feels.
They need to know that they will be listened to. It is not for others to dictate whether they feel it is or isn’t bullying.
For many organisations and those at the top of them, no matter how well-meaning people are at the outset, they often quickly become part of the machine and seek to simply protect the organisation. Not do the right thing. I have seen this so many times and so many times I have called it out, so many times I have suffered for doing so.
But I will never be silenced.
For anyone who is going through any kind of bullying I want to let you know, things can change, and they do.
Tell someone what you are going through and seek help.
Remember in the end, the bullies never win.