Richard Ord: Achtung! Time for a Nazi Doctor Who?

History can do funny things to people.

I say this because I watched our 13-year-old son get a dressing down from his mum for goose-stepping around our bedroom ranting in faux German while giving Nazi salutes.

Our Isaac had been doing lessons on World War Two and clearly thought it would be funny to an impression of Hitler, one hand forming a moustache under his nose, the other giving the salute.

“Stop that Isaac,” my wife said. “It’s not appropriate.”

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Yeah, I could see why she would be put out. There’s only room for one dictator in this house. Isaac protested that he was only joking, but my wife insisted that people might not realise he was joking.

“Except,” I pointed out, “that real Nazis wouldn’t do the finger moustache under the nose bit.”

“What do you mean?” she said.

“I mean, the salute is offensive, but the finger moustache is a jokey reference to Hitler.”

“Really?,” she said. “I thought the Nazis did the moustache bit too. Well, you learn something new every day.”

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I worry about my wife at times. One wag told me to break it to her gently that Hitler’s first name is Adolf, and not Heil.

Of course, going round doing Nazi salutes, even in jest, is probably not the wisest thing to do. So I told him to save it for the audition. The audition? Yes, when they need a new Doctor Who in 10 years time.

A Nazi Doctor Who? Controversial, maybe, but not as controversial as having a female play the part … obviously. Short of a Dalek being cast as the new Doctor, the appointment of Jodie Whittaker as the shape-shifting alien has caused some consternation.

I must admit, I was disappointed. I thought it should have gone to Olivia Colman. Not because I thought she’d be better, but because I was worried about her acting career.

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I feared it must be coming to end given she’s not be on the telly for about, ooh, 23 minutes! She must be desperately worried about her future. Maybe Olivia, Dara O’Briain and James Corden can form their own TV company so we get them 24 hours a day rather than the paltry 21 we ‘enjoy’ at the moment. Just a thought.

“It’s political correctness gone mad,” I heard one commentator squeal about Jodie’s role. “Doctor Who is man!”

The Doctor, from what I can recall, is a fictional character. For that reason, he/she can be anything. Fictional is the key word here. The writers can make him a carrot if they choose.

What is odd to me is how people can get so worked up about a woman playing the part of a shape-shifting alien and yet they don’t bat an eyelid at the shape-shifting alien playing the part of the woman running our country!

A bit harsh ,I know, and I apologise ... to any shape-shifting aliens who may have been offended at being compared to Theresa May.