Liam Kennedy: Newcastle United's takeover turkey is almost cooked – can Steve Bruce save Mike Ashley's Christmas?

If you, like me, have the pleasure of cooking this year's Christmas dinner within your chopped-down family bubble, belatedly sanctioned by our Westminster overlords – you too might well be Googling 'top tips for the perfect Xmas feast'.

'Try roasting the sprouts' – don't care, hate them anyway.

'To keep it moist, try turning the turkey upside down' – interesting...

'Enlist some vegetable peelers' – well, I wasn't going to use my fingers and I am fine with child labour (jokes)!

'Don't hit the mulled wine too early' – you do realise Newcastle United have Manchester City on Boxing Day, likely better watched through hazy eyes, or slept through altogether.

To everyone reading this, I may well sound like a right Geordie Scrooge. I've definitely been called worse.

Problem is, when it comes to the Newcastle United takeover, many are expecting myself – and other Magpies-covering journalists – to turn into Father Christmas.

We've all been good this year. We - Newcastle United fans - should all be on Santa's present list. But will it be the thing we've wanted all year, pined for, prayed for, would give your right arm for? Or will it be more of the same - the forced smile, the 'yeah, I love it' face, 'what do I do with it?'.

Will Mike Ashley and Newcastle United's very own St. Nick (De Marco) deliver the deal every Newcastle United fan – the overwhelming majority anyway – so desperately desire?

The truth is we don't know. Too many timeframes have been placed on this deal since it punctured Tyneside's consciousness in January 2020.

Everyone wants a resolution. The fans, the club, the buyers and Mike Ashley. All are UNITED in their want for change.

And being brutally honest, no person – with the team around him – is working harder than Mike Ashley to push this deal through.

He wants the Saudi millions to not only help smooth through his high-street hoover up, but also because he realises this is what is best for Newcastle United. Yes, you did read that right. Mike Ashley wants what is best for Newcastle United – maybe it's time to start believing in Santa Claus once more.

While Ashley fights tooth and nail off the field – with his equally battle-hardened deputy Justin Barnes gloved up on his wing – Steve Bruce and his players must do so on it.

This football club is on the cusp of something special, the dawn of a new age – the new PJs are on, mince pies at the door, spuds par-boiled ready for roasting. This is Newcastle United's Christmas Eve, and the anticipation is palpable. The morning is but a short wait away, one more sleep (we all wish), the gifts so close you can almost touch them.

Relegation, or the threat of it, would change all that.

And while eight points may seem a world away from the drop threat – three games in a week, with a COVID-depleted squad could go some way to changing that.

Given United play West Bromwich Albion, then Leeds United and Fulham – the three sides promoted from the Championship in the summer – this week could prove to be season-defining. Continue the steady points gathering, with another six (at least) out of nine and it'll keep the Grinch from the door. Summon the ghosts of Christmas past and start a slide down the way – and it could prove as satisfying as a lukewarm lunch, or unwrapping ANOTHER pair of socks. We've all been there.

The Newcastle United takeover turkey is close to being cooked – there is a real confidence from all sides the not too distant future could prove plentiful. Relegation, or flirtations with it, would, at this stage, leave the most awful taste in the mouth in the Middle East.

Bruce and his players may have mixed emotions about the prospect of new cash washing over St James's Park. But for the greater good, they must dig deep – with Newcastle United fans' unwavering support from afar – and help create the foundations on which a legally-induced PIF, PCP and Reubens deal can potentially prosper.

Bruce at least owes it to Ashley to keep his money safe – after all, it was the Sports Direct tycoon who rubber-stamped his inexplicable appointment in 2019. The Geordie cost United millions to ‘bring him home’ from Sheffield Wednesday. Middling Championship side Sheffield Wednesday.

Facts don't lie and Bruce’s Premier League record does not make for great reading. He's been well short of a Michelin starred chef in the top flight – but the job required, while needing some skill, is not of that standard either. Steady hands will do it, no need for flair, no room for failure.

Think of football as a Christmas banquet, not the burnt roasties kind your Nan might have served up, more top hotel, silver service.

With that in mind, I've always said there's enough food at football's table for everyone to eat, despite the glutenous nature of the portly fellas at the top.

If the Saudis come to town – and they remain very much in the wings, primed ready to bite – football, we hope, will be OUR table, and some of the so-called big six (they arrogantly and misguidedly coined that phrase themselves) will, more than likely, be left with scraps.

Ho! Ho! Hope! Now, who's on that naughty list?

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